Hurry Home

The soul is willing, but the body is week.  
I know this to be true.  
For I am willing to wait till the ends of time,
to reconcile with you.  

My soul desires oneness,
and my heart desires peace.    
I dream of the time long from now,
when we live in harmony.  

I see your struggle all too clear,
but I don’t know if it will change.  
Am I waiting for a shadow,
that will never fully come to shape?   

I don’t know if you want me
…if you’re proud of who I am.  
I don’t know if you desire my body,
or speak kindly to my name.  

I am not sure what forever means to you,
Or if "forever" this time will last.
Will you forever scan for her?
Or "forever" seek a new mold to cast? 

Sometimes I wonder:
Who is out there now, waiting just for me?  
Who will love me fully and forever and complete?  
Who will take my children, and love them just like me? 

I need to feel hands on me and a deep embracing kiss.  
I need to tell my plans to him and together hope and wish.  
I need to be the only one who occupies his heart.  
I need to work together and not slowly grow apart.  
I need to rest in his strong arms and know that I am safe.  
I need to trust my kids with him and see so clearly his strong faith.  

My soul will continue waiting…
I cannot be sure how long.  
My strength is now wavering,
my will no longer strong.  

Every day I feel the fire burning
with a flame that strengthens still.  
A hunger for eyes that see through my soul
and hands the storm does still. 

Not to feed that unquenchable desire
is a practice of the will

…so please…oh please,
would you hurry home?  
Hurry back to me.  
To the life you knew so well,
but one now fully overflowing with love from thee. 

My Testimony for this Day

I remember very vividly a time when I was about 9 years old with long unruly sandy brown hair, wearing jeans, an old soccer T-shirt, and some dingy tennis shoes. I stood outside my little one story farm house, as close to the edge of the property as I could…trying to be out of sight should the door to the house open or a eyes peer from behind the tightly closed windows that were covered in black out curtains.  My mom was off somewhere pursuing her college diploma or perhaps working for an elderly women to bring in an income…always off somewhere.  My brothers, as was their normal routine, took their bikes and fled for the day to hang out with 2 neighborhood boys that lived down the winding road from us.   My dad locked inside, just released me from endless tormenting abuse.  I looked out on the cattle field and followed the fence till it met the quiet road that closed off the open field.  My face still blotchy from tears chocked back, I debated what it would be like if I walked…just walked till the ends of the earth and found a sanctuary in the trees somewhere.  I wondered when I would be missed…or who might come looking for me.  Then I realized that I couldn’t for the fear of the unknown was much greater than the terror that lie in the house behind me.   My mind shifted then to walking in front of a big truck carrying a load of mulch or gravel to a nearby property… If I stepped in front of that, would they cry?  I paused on that thought for minutes that seemed to drift into hours.  Nobody is looking for me now,  no one sees the hurt behind my eyes, or asks how my day was or even looks for the truth in my smile.  Even my mother’s embrace feels empty and hollow.  Nobody sees me now, why would they would cry if I was gone.  So I stood…looking at the birds pecking from the mulberry trees above my head.  Peering out at the cattle in the field grazing quietly, I took a deep, cleansing breath, and decided right there on that very spot, that the only option was to survive and to assure that I would have a happy future.  I told God and myself in that very moment that I would choose to MAKE my future a happy one! I would!  Nobody is going to help me out of this…SO I WOULD ASSURE a good and prosperous future. Little did I know that God was literally blowing through the trees, sending his birds, and his cattle as my comfort.  He was there, feeling the pain with me...and whispering a hope inside me.  

            As time moved forward, that is exactly what I did...  I worked to create my future.  I studied hard in school.  I prayed at church.  I said please and thank you.  I helped out my grandparents and babysat my cousins.  I brushed my hair and tried to never hurt a single soul on the planet and tried to protect those that were hurting.  I always said yes and never no.  I always agreed even when it didn’t feel right.  I played sports and showed up on time and didn’t ever ask for anything.  I worked and made my own money for clothes, food, and college.  I had a boyfriend and for the first time ever, gave my own body to him by my own choice.   I didn’t trouble my mom or my brothers (or anyone for that matter) with the knowledge of my abuse.  I screamed and fought my dad every chance I could get for the sake of righteousness and honor.  Even when it put my mother and brothers in very physically dangerous positions trying to protect me.  I took 21-26 credit hours in school each semester just to finish early and start my own hope of the future all the while maintaining a 4.0 GPA and working 2 part time jobs.  When I finished school my pastor asked me to come help him out in Texas start up a new church…and I did.  I flew away from my grandparents, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, my brothers, my mom…and my dad.  I worked as a waitress, substitute taught, and volunteered in church.  I got my own apartment with granite counter tops and beautiful tile in floors in the kitchen and bathrooms.  I got my first teaching job and a handsome, kind man from a beautiful and loving family started pursuing me.   He was Catholic, so I took him to church, my church.  I knew for that happy future, I needed to have an equal belief system.  He came…happily came.  We married, I made sure to not live with him till we were married…although I did feel a tremendous amount of guilt over our hidden intimate relationship but at the same time desperately needed that intimate relationship more than I understood.  We had two kids and two dogs and were raising them in church… the kids that is.  I fought for good TV programs, didn’t let them stay the night anywhere, and watched them like a hawk when we did leave the sanctuary of our house.  I asked my husband not to cuss around us, I asked him to be happy when he went to church, to tell me what he was learning through the message, to be a leader for his son and a gentleman for his daughter to see, I begged him to help me with the dishes, to take care of the air filters, and trim the hedges…and when he didn’t or wouldn’t, I took care of it all.   The budget was hard, but it had to be balanced…our future aspirations depended on it.  So I looked at every line, adjusted daily for expenditures and stayed on top of it all.    I worked my way up from teaching kids, to mentoring teachers, to administration, and finally landed a Director’s position at a local public school for pre-kindergarteners…I excelled there.  In the first year, our academic performance had skyrocketed and the building was running efficiently and I loss no employees in the change of leadership.  Then January 2020 came and I was about to tackle my biggest battle of all…over eating, emotional eating, and binging.  For two whole weeks I was solid…  Exercising, eating perfect, following the plan.  I lost 16lbs in those two weeks and felt a supernatural strength that I hadn’t felt in a while.  My knees hurt less, my swelling went down, my stomach had no pain/indigestion that was a constant presence in my life, and I had energy again.  I literally said out loud that “this is the Year of Mandy!!!  Living my best life”.  I was planning how good I would look when I brought in my 40^th birthday and where I would go to show off this new me!  My husband, although we had many ups and downs, declared that he was done with causing me to feel like we were on a “roller-coaster” of a marriage and he promised that it wouldn’t happen anymore!  He wouldn’t be angry, he would try to make me feel his love, and he started making time for “coffee dates” and hand holding more.  Our intimacy was struggling, but it had been for a while, and I took the new attitude with a hopeful heart.  At this point we were just 2 weeks past our 13^th wedding anniversary and had been together for 17 years in total.  On this night, was the night that my perfect plan, for my “Good Future” that I had determined that I would create…all fell apart. 

On January 13^th, 2020 I caught my husband having an affair.  I had kissed him goodbye to go out to Uber drive for a couple hours that night like so many nights before.  I had been getting a sick sinking feeling in my spirit and this night I decided to act on it.  He hadn’t been gone long when I logged into his account and clicked on “find my I-phone”.  The next two hours of staring at his motionless ping as it sat at an unknown address were endless.  That night he confessed and over the next couple days more and more slowly came out.    I was physically sick…my whole body uncontrollably shook constantly… I couldn’t eat nor sleep.   I asked him to move out, our kids found out and cried…an illusion shattered.  So did our families and our close friends.  All seemingly just as shocked as I.  I ran to the church and shut the world out.  How could this happen to me…after I worked so hard to do it all so right.  How could this happen.  I choked back tears and ran outside to look at the trees, the birds, try to breathe the fresh air…just like my nine year old self when I could stop the pain.  My life spiraled out of order…I had no control over any of it…my marriage, my house, my budget, my kids emotional health, my loss of his family, not even over my physically being.    No control.  For the first time in my entire life, I realized that this WAS MY BATTLE…not the infidelity… that was HIS battle to take to the cross.  My battle was understanding that it was never within my control…that was my illusion.  There is sin is this world and the future is not promised and cannot be planned for by our own strength, will, and abilities.  God is in control… not me.   It’s never clearer than at this moment when my life is spiraling, that I need to give it all to God, release the reigns of literally everything I thought was good and right about my life and rest in the promises of God for my future.  A future that is not planned by me and executed by me… but a future that follows God’s perfect path that he has already written in the stars.  He is not surprised by this, he hates that I have to walk through this, he will punish those who hurt me if I let him…but he promises to use it for a beautiful purpose in me.  And if I can stop to breathe him in for just a minute…I can see that he was always there and how very sweet life will be when I don’t have to hold on so tightly for my happiness.  He will show me how my husband, or my future husband if God so chooses not to restore this marriage, needs to feel respected and trusted and like a leader and he will show me how to do that.  He will give me everything I fought so hard to create for myself.  Beauty in the Ashes. 

The Deepest Cut

Despair

1/16/2020

Chasing the wind

Slipping through my fingers

I grasp and claw

I draw in with a long but shallow breath

I search but I cannot see

Like a ghost, it brushes past my shoulder

Chills rise up and pass through my hollow body

It whispers in my ear…loss, failure, death

I slink cautiously through the shadows

Not aware of the path, not able to see the ground veiled in mist

I fall and clasp my knees to my chest

I am home

Hope

1/17/2020

Your hands hold me

Your feet run to my side

I feel your comforter near

My eyes are blinded

My body frozen in place

But there is a voice in the wind

I turn my head to listen

To find you through the mist

A whisper of hope in the distance

I wait for only you to come and pull me from this place

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

The Vision

Prologue: 

Alone in the woods,
along a dark musty path,
a broken, sore girl,
places on armor that lasts.

Each day is a battle,
of foes unexpected, unseen...
and her daily time with God,
brings the comfort she needs.

The Vision:

The warrior, she rose,
on the damp misty day,
laced up her boots,
and knelt down to pray.

What carried her on,
was an unspoken hope,
a wisp of a wish...
born on a path long ago.

This hope nearly lost,
as the trials combined.
The people fought back,
and support vastly declined.

Alone now, unsure...
Just begging to flee,
drawn on by this hope,
that's drowning, unseen.

Deep in her plea for direction,
she dreamt of a battle...so distant, a blur...
Instantly, she jumped on her saddle,
and road, till fighting and death consumed her.

Shields clashed.
Bodies dismembered.
Armies stood.
A day to remember.

A glowing light,
shined brightly through the mass,
a sword driven on,
A most kingly drawn path.

Standing up for the good,
the pure and the lovely.
Unseen angels surround,
and heavenly hosts summoned down.

From the ground she's surrounded.
She saw no way ahead.
But the devil, he's scared,
and whispers..."Death, fear, and dread!"

They proped up her shield,
and carried her sword,
her will may have faltered...
But He is The Lord!!

A thunder crash,
brought an almighty storm.
Beasts flee from the field,
in a hazardous swarm.

Truth was won,
on the fateful, dark day.
And an awestruck warrior,
stopped to give Him praise

The vision now passed,
the girl rose on up,
renewed in her spirit,
for Christ was enough!

He gave her a message,
to carry her through.
The hope that was lost,
has now been renewed.

She doesn't know where,
or how...even why!
but she knows He is there,
and the Son is her guide.

The battle she's on,
has already been won,
written in history,
from the day it begun.

The Death and Life of TRUE LOVE in America

There is an epidemic,
Growing deep inside our souls.
Devastation has been implanted,
In generations long since foretold.

We seem not to know the cure,
Though one readily exists.
And now time is growing colder,
As we sink further in the mist...

There are still a faithful few,
Who know the path to light,
And these steady souls are eager,
to stand up, pray, and fight!

But the masses run away
Saying, "We're much to smart for this!"
Passion is their guide,
And hopes float upon a wish.

This passion is a flame,
That quickly bursts to light.
Yet, when tormenting storms rain down,
Embers fade into the night.

The lights are growing dim,
blackouts down every street.
The quick pulse of flames dispersing,
beating in the rhythm of defeat.

Yet, where there's hope and courage,
and people left to fight,
warmth and love will draw them,
like a pillar in the night!

(I dedicate this to those fighting for love and marriage that is true, not a wisp of emotion, but that is long-lasting, forever, through the trials in life, scarred and imperfect, but beautiful!)

Life's Simple Deduction

For what do I owe this minute?
This day to be called, "most blessed",
The sounds of my babes still dreaming,
and a mind that's not quite at rest.

Though darkness and dread loom about,
and death encroaches our door.
A gentle hope yet arises,
it whispers and I yearn for more.

The clock ticks on and I wonder...
Will rest come find me this day?
Or will the race laid before me,
 still carry me further away?

It seems but simple deduction;
2 kids, a house, and nice cars.
We should be ever so happy,
Yet our sights are set on the stars!

Amanda Ruiz
10-12-14

Daughter Arise

Daughter arise to your perfect fate!
Your eyes are deep with wisdom,
Your smile, soft and sweet.
You bring only peace and love,
to those who seek your face

You have known what is right and wrong,
from the earliest of years.
and always strived to do your best
...to conquer all your fears.

The purpose in your life,
hangs heavy with ripe fruit.
Do not let the rains destroy,
All God has in store for you.

There will be troubles,
and terrible strive.
Tears will fall,
Many times in life.

Keep your eyes focused on heaven,
And on your knees worn from prayer.
Always give to Him your worries, and
God will surly meet you there.

and know...Mommy will always smile,
and feel incredible joy at the sound of your voice
and the mention of your name.

Feet upon the Rock!

There once was dark and shadows,
Inside her lonely soul.
Where love and light strived to surface,
The night drew them down below.

She pasted a warm, sweet smile,
upon her drawn down face.
And greated those around her,
With an abundance of love and grace.

Her hope was for the future,
A much brighter one than this.
She dreamt of it almost daily,
And prayed for just this wish.

To be someone filled with love,
For light to shine clear through.
To warm the heart of others,
And to give darkness to its due.

Each moment was a battle,
While running life's great race.
When she paused too long to dwell...
Darkness would snarl back into place.

So, she focused up above,
Not on the world around.
On the triumphs that did abound,
Not on the world that pulled her down.

Certain paths were filled with thorns,
and covered thick in smog.
She couldn't see far beyond,
But still further on she sought.

To go back was not an option,
To forge ahead is all she could do.
The unknown wasn't as scary,
As remaining in this same view.

Over dense pathways of despare...
Under blazing dessert droughts...
Through lonely trecks in solitude...
Until the river led her safely out. 

She grasped the sandy shore,
Green eyes blinking past the tears.
Crawling up to great lush land,
And collapsing from all the years.

The sun gently swept her cheek,
She felt her strength inside renewed.
The meadow held a sweet embrace,
With the promised land in view.

Without even looking back,
She rises to meet the dawn.
Her hope for the future in clear sight.
The promise of a new song!

Undone

Life is ever moving
ever changing
ever blending
A cycle ever winding

Through the mountains
Through the valleys
overtop the canyons
underneith where darkness passes


filled with beauty
filled with spendor
It sees the great horizons
It sees the depths of solice and of danger

Time passes quickly
Ever running
Always driving
Forever longing

To reach the nearst summit
and then driving on to meet the next
Pushing past the rocky pathways
Discovering new fairways

Until the last great prescipace
Until the ultimate horizon
stretching purple hues accross the sky
Leaving us to wonder why

Why was I chosen!?!
...to march accross this land
Did I meet each day,
With a grateful and outstretched hand?

Did I give my own water,
to the weary passerby?
Did I offer up my peace,
To a child when they cried?

Will I be remembered,
For my calm, and my cool?
Or will the stormy days,
In my life overrule?

Why do some have such grand journeys,
and other sit and wait.
Why do some change great landscapes,
and others live out a simple fait.

All I want to be...
All I want to see...
will lead to this last horizon,
and then whisp me unto Thee.

Life is ever moving
ever changing
ever blending
A cycle ever winding

Every Moment

Peering past the blooming windowsill,
To the parking lot below.
Flowing streams of passersby’s
They do not pause, nor do they know.

Wondering how their day unfolds,
What mission brings them here?
What life do they go home to...
Are their loved ones held so dear?

The minutes tick on by,
As halfhearted smiles fill the room.
I glass over, withdraw to thoughts,
Sweet memories consume.

My first job…
A teacher in a kid filled room.
Twas all I ever dreamed.
Oh, but then...
My wedding day,
With the most handsomest of grooms!

The birth of my daughter,
Sweet and new,
Husband cuddles me in bed.
And then my son,
With his brilliant smile,
...or little family is now set.

A strong hand grasped hold of mine,
Pulls me back to this drab room.
Clear blue eyes sparkling back at me,
I feel my love consumed.

"Mom, I'm here..
I love you so."
How did he grow so strong?
This cannot be,
the same spry boy,
That once giggled all day long.

Coffee skin, in a white linen dress.
Leans over my cold bed..
Her sweet smile calms my soul.

Then she whispers, “go on, rest your head."

They cuddle in around me,
I feel their warmth and sweet embrace
Their father's near me now
I reach up and touch his kind face.

This moment came too soon.
I want to finish out this great race!
But He is calling me to come home,
...I can almost see his face.

"Sing to me, my precious ones"
I muster soft and week.
Amazing Grace carries me…
As I drift off, at last, to sleep.

An Angel in the Darkness

The crushing blow,
Of misplaced anger.
The bite.
The hiss.
The cowering child.
Alone.
Without a voice.

The angle standing over.
Crying.
Crying for the child.
Crying for the anger.
Ministering.
Pouring in thoughts of hope.
A cleansing touch.
A sweet voice in the darkness.

Old Wise Oak Tree

Tree of life,
Rooted upon this hill.
How many have sought rest,
Under your long stretched arms?
How many have climbed high,
To peer at the horizon?
Or watch the sunrise, golden-warm,
While strengthened by your refuge?
How far reaching go your roots?
To what depth do they search?
Years pass,
Seemingly peaceful, constant...
Wild storms rage round,
And rivers burst over banks.
Old dead branches twist and rip away.
You bend...almost break.
Trees around you up root,
And are washed away,
But you have deep roots.
They hold on, even when the storm takes over.
Long, deadly, trying times,
But you remain.
You grow.
You tower on.
I lay still and peer up through winding branches,
Leaves blowing gently,
And rays of sunlight shifting.
I marvel.
At God's cleansing breath,
From his tree of life.

By: Amanda Mae Ruiz
4-20-13
Stillwaters Ranch

Depravity

Numb to the pain in her eyes
Deaf to the shadows in her soul

She believes only lies
She fights, claws, scratches to the surface
Where she thinks repect awaits

She gives to them freely
While taking from her own

We see, but speak not
Its her life...no one to blame

Turn your eyes,
Just pass by

Then cry, blind eyes, when it becomes your shame.

Sparkle in the Sun

I feel the sun on my face,
It warms my soul.
I glare into the horizon,
Hand shielding my eyes.
A cloudless moment of clear blue bliss.
Without rain...
Without storm....
Without heavey fog obscuring my view...
Without the dark... 
I could not truly take joy in the warmth of light!

Simplicit Moment

Knees to the floor
Eyes drawn closed
Asking the Lord to bless this day

My boy bounces in
sits across my knees
Interrupting my conversation

I see his smile
His bright blue eyes
And realize the Lord is happy

This great gift
He sent to me
Oh my God, how can I thank you?

Then I ask him, please...
son pray with me
And I feel the Lord enter our presence.

The Frolicking Sea Answers

The wind whispers to the sea

Whispers come and play with me

As they joyfully frolic, dip, and dive

The sun peaks amber in the sky

The two old friends think the fun is done

When angry clouds roll in as one

They bring the pouring rain in sheets

Banging, flashing, menacing beats

Of thunder wailing, lightening crashing

The wind whips round with waves a smashing

The sea now peeks, bursts, and sputters

Old friend wind wildly, wistfully mutters

Tis the day for fun and fancy free

We two can dance and just let be

Bursts of waves and foaming brine

Mingle till rays of sun do shine

Then rumbling clouds push on past

And the wind slows down its midday blast

Oh what fun we've had today

The smoldering sea screams, "Please don't stray"

Oh, Ill be back my good old friend

To dip and dive with you again

He has asked me to calm down

In the breeze I hear his sound

The clouds push past to meet His will

And we shall too for His plan's fulfilled

We give Him glory on this day

So sailors can thank him; we obey

The waves calmly dissipate

For His voice they always do await

Then amber beams shine in full force

And dolphins jump to retrace their course

A humbled sea watches in silent adoration

As the Most High proves his kingly station

A kind, soft smile and grateful glance is all 

twas needed to answer His great call

The sea sinks softly in wistful bliss

The sun greats him with it's warm sweet kiss

A bright and sparkling day ensues

With a sheet of glass that's clear and blue

For your will the storm around me calms

For your will the earth does sings your songs!

Down a long forgotten road

Down a hazy field
of dew covered grass
there sits a little white house
through a lonely old pass

It's windows closed
to keep out the night
The woods creeping up
around it so tight

With creaky floors
and musty smells
Abandoned pictures
hang on dusty walls

What once was filled
with love and light
Is now dark and cold
throughout the night

But a wisp of time
has wiped all away
the warm glowing hearth
has faded to grey

The tattered old house
seemingly yearning for more
perhaps to shelter an old friend
Through it's weathered, worn door

But as weeks pass into years
and the garden runs stray
Those who once lived and loved
Have all blown away

Until a time-withered  traveler
All reminisce
Treads up the long path
To a place dearly missed

The memories await
where dreams were formed
down that long forgotten road
where her soul was reborn

She gapes in disbelief
as the house comes to sight
her safe sanctuary dissolving
into the night

Her mind retraces
Her grandmother there
sitting on the porch
to greet her with care

Hobbling up to the swing
That creaks with the breeze
Suddenly her cousins surround her
swinging with ease

Her worn little hands
Push the old heavy door
and heavenly smells
waft to her once more

Apple pie on the windowsill
The freshly washed clothes
The kids in the meadow
and biscuits baked in the stove

Her fingers drift along
The dusty bookshelf
As her eyes draw tight
She remembers herself

A young little girl
All timid and meek
A kiss from her Granny
adoring her cheek

A handsome boy at the door
with a blackberry can
Waiting just for her
To give him a hand

A light returns
to her pale blue eyes
The memories so close
she wells up inside

This house may be old
and tattered and worn
But the love in this place
Continues form

Around all those that lived
and pass on the love
and sing the same songs
and send prayers up above

The light that once shown
Through the windows with care
shines still in the hearts
Of those who have slept here

Time passes quickly
And possessions do fade
But Faith, Hope, and Love
Never will wain


By:  Amanda Mae Ruiz

-In dedication to my favorite place in the world
And my Granny who's memory will never fade.

Dance

Thump, thump, thump
Pounding to the beat
Body pumping beneath the feet
Carrying on this rhythmic retreat
Time passes, bodies merge
Melting together into the serge
Sweltering heat burns through the air
Lips meet through a long lusty glare
Seducing rythms, fixed stares
Twisting, twirling, long legs swirling
Tilted embrace through heavey breathe and beating heart
In the crowd there is but one...
One grasping another, in a silent embrace

Purpose Through the Tears

Purpose Through the Tears

(read "Unknown" below then read this)

This is the night

For this I breathe

The song in my soul returnith

The drum beats wildly as the unceasing cadence pushes me on

A kick of my heels and the wind is my friend

My crouched body moves in rhythm

My wild hair slips from behind its’ cover and whips freely behind me

My eyes pierced on the lights in the distance

My mind drifts to the journey behind me

The lonely tears that fell in the night

The slip of my foot and my trembling grasp on the Cliffside

Trudging, crawly, dragging slowly through the marsh

Always hoping the next hill would bring me to this place

Only to find mountain after mountain in the horizon

Only to find a new challenge to overcome

Only to hear… more silence…

Is this truly the end?

Or will there be another battle to fight

Another trial to keep me away

Away from my destination

So close …

I can feel it,

Almost see it,

Almost believe it

Oh Lord, let this be the night I rest

On a soft bed of white linens

And sleep in the safety

Of your warm love

Let me wake in the morning and BE

Everything this journey has made me into

Everything your hands have molded me for

Let my hands be shaped to do your will

I am ready…..

I am ready now…..

The Unknown

The Unknown

By :  Amanda Ruiz

What makes a heart cease from its constant yearning?

What calms the weary rider?

How vast are the fields,

Laden with miles of hardened earth?

Which road leads me back home to you?

My steed grows restless in the thorn filled paths

He rears back his head as if to say no more

My body falls limp upon his back

As I succumb to the journey

Oh the longing of my soul,

To taste of it once more

To breathe it in

To lay back in the tenderness

Draw my eyes closed,

…and rest

I feel the rhythm of his stride

As he wisps me away once more

Sensing my will defeated

His strength will now endure

I throw my lifeless arms

About his long, strong neck

And thank my good old friend

For his faithfulness …to the end

When the trail seems most dark

And he can carry me no more

He rests upon the grass

…I breathe in and out with him

Perhaps I won’t reach my destination

Perhaps my dreams of light and love

Are a down a damp and dusty road

And long since drawn away

I burry my head and smile

I have a friend to keep me warm this night

And in the morning I WILL RISE!!

To follow you once more